


play this when i'm gone

by bbyspice



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Haikyuu - Freeform, Like no happiness, M/M, No Fluff, Why do I do this to myself, gender neutral reader, post timeskip Semi, rockstar Semi, seriously, straight up angst, why do i like to hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:14:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29312433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyspice/pseuds/bbyspice
Summary: You and Semi have been together since high school. Your life is good. Until one day, you come home early and see something you wish you didn't.
Relationships: Semi Eita & Reader, Semi Eita/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	play this when i'm gone

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, this is just straight up Semi angst. All I have been able to think about the past week is the beautiful Rockstar Semi. And how well Machine Gun Kelly's new album goes well with him. That lead to this painful atrocity. I wrote the Reader as Gender Neutral so everyone can sit and read this and hurt with me. Enjoy!
> 
> Warning: All my works are written for 18 and up. What media you choose to partake in is on you but I only write for fellow adults. Thanks*

You and Semi have been together since high school. You were there for him during his high school years and you support him now as a musician. Your relationship seems perfect, really. You don't fight much, you share similar interests, and you love each other with every fiber in your being. You never missed a single one of his volleyball games and attend every gig he has. So, it comes as a surprise when you come home early from work to find the love of your life with a large suitcase and standing at the dining room table. He removed his ring and placed it on a note right as you walked in the door. Him removing the ring is really what signals what this is. He won matching rings for you guys in a vending machine on your first date. He wasted so much money trying to get them both, but he told you that you guys had to have them. To this day you never removed them. No matter how green they turn your fingers. So why was he taking it off? You drop your bag, not even caring that it lands on the floor and spills. Approaching him, you call his name, "Semi.... Semi, what is this? Is there a gig I don't know about?" You're trying to rationalize this in your head. If you deny what's happening right in front of your eyes, maybe it won't be real, and you'll wake up from this nightmare. 

He looks everywhere but at you, he can't bring himself to look into your eyes. "Y/N, I was hoping to be gone before you got here. I didn't want to do this in person." You start to walk closer to him, which is the last thing he wants. He knows you're going to make this harder and bigger than it is. 

You reach out to touch him, but he flinches from your touch. There are tears starting to well up in your eyes. This isn't your Semi. The Semi that holds you every night, wakes you up with morning kisses, and surprises you with lunch and flowers once a week like clockwork. What happened since then? "I-I don't know what's going on here Semi. Just talk to me. We can figure out whatever this is. We've been together for years. We have always been happy." You can feel the fat tears getting thicker and rolling down your cheeks. You hold back a sob as he grabs his suitcase and steps away from you. The rolling of the wheels will always be ingrained in your brain. It’ll always be synonymous with the sound of Semi leaving you behind. 

Watching you cry hurts him. Can't you see his heart is breaking too? "We got signed. I was going to tell you a couple days ago, but I just wanted a couple more normal days with you. I didn't want you to make this a huge thing. If you didn't come home early, we could have avoided this. Everything is in the note. This is hard for me too, but my music comes first. You always knew this."

You let out a large sob. Your eyes look like waterfalls now. He doesn't even have the decency to look you in your eyes. "You don't get to blame this on me. This isn't my fault. I never, not once, asked you to choose me over your music. I know music came first, and I have always supported that. I would still support you now, if you change your mind right now. We will pretend this didn't happen and go on like normal. Don't do this. Please. Don't throw our life together away. What about all our future plans? We planned on getting married. Was it all a lie?" You're weeping in between sentences. Your heart shattering in your chest. Your entire world is falling apart in front of you and all you can do is fall to your knees with your head in your hands as the tears cup fall into your cupped palms. 

Semi balls his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white from the force. "Stop this, Y/N! I've made up my mind. You would just get in my way. My band and I finally got what we have been working so hard towards and your tantrum isn't going to ruin this for me. Don't you think I am hurting to? You think that leaving you behind is easy? Because it's not, but it's a sacrifice I have to make." Your hands drop from your face and he finally looks into your eyes. There's nothing but pain behind them. 

All you can do is sniffle. Your knees aching from being on the floor, but it's so dull compared to the pain Semi is causing you. "Please... Semi." It's all you can say. You look up at him with your pleading eyes, hoping that he'll find something in them that makes him change his mind. Something to make him stay. Instead, he looks away. He grabs his guitar leaning against the wall. The one you had custom made for him. 

"I don't feel right taking this. You can have it back. Do me a favor, please read the letter. It explains better than I can." He walks closer to you. Seeing you moping on your knees and knowing he brought you to this breaking point let's him know he's overstayed his welcome. He reaches out towards your face, then pulls his hand back. "I'm sorry. Truly. See you around, Y/N." And with that, he turns around and grabs his suitcase. You watch as he leaves. The echo of the door slamming hitting you like a bullet train. He's gone and he's never coming back. Your fractured heart feeling nothing but numb now as the tears dry on your cheeks. You don't know what to do with yourself. How does one recover from devastating heart5break? What's left for you know? Getting up from the floor, you look towards the table. You see your name written in script on an envelope on the table. His ring on top of it. You're debating if you should read it or not. Some would say it would be closure, but you feel it would just be more pain. Pain won't help you move on. Grabbing the note and the ring, you toss it into the fireplace, along with yours. You grab the guitar he left behind. Mustering all your strength, you smash it on the floor. Picking up the pieces, you toss them into the fireplace as well. After, you sit down to light the fireplace. You stay right there as you watch your life with Semi burn to ashes. All physical traces of him, gone. 

You'll never know what that note said, and it's for the better. Reminiscing on him will make the pain worse. 

-

🔥 (If you're interested in knowing what the note said, it's below) 🔥

_Dear Y/N,_

_I am sorry that this is how it happen. I know that breaking up with you through a note is what cowards do, but I know that I won’t be able to be as levelheaded in person. I don’t want to ruin this and leave you with a bad memory of me. I’m hoping this letter will make you understand. This is going to hurt you no matter what, I just ask that you keep an open mind. My band and I recently got signed to a major label. Our tour starts next week. I know I should have told you, but I wanted to just spend time with you and create pleasant memories before leaving. Is that selfish? It might be. But I wanted to remember what it felt like to love you and feel loved. Loving you has been the greatest honor of my life. I am choosing to leave because my career will be too demanding. And with that, I know I won’t be able to love you like you deserve. You deserve someone attentive, who would do anything for you, and most of all, would put you before anything. I know I can’t do that. Not currently anyways. I don’t want you to wait for me and to put your life on hold for me. So, leaving you seemed like the only selfless choice. You deserve the world. And I hope the world finds you and treats you like the celestial being you are. Please forgive me, Y/N. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope that you understand my reasoning, no matter how shitty it is. I love you. That’ll never change._

_Love, Semi_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have part two half written. It only gets angstier from here folks. This is literally self indulgent. I just like watching the world burn I guess
> 
> -Tiff


End file.
